Im left with, around 20 weeks of studying in UM, then I have to earn my own living, feed myself, hopefully I don’t need my parents’ support anymore, and hopefully the right man in my life will come and marry me.

Anyway…. hmm.

Anna ( one of my coursemates, who has been teaching for the past almost 20 yrs ) been persuading me to work in a private school with her.. managing the almost dead school band, and choirs and etc.. meaning I’ll be dealing 100% with music, and I only teach music. However, longer working hours, 8am – 330pm

On the other hand, my mum keep asking me to apply KPLI and be a government teacher.. and that means I will have to teach subjects that I don’t want to teach but the working hours is 730am – 2pm the most, excluding meetings and extra tuitions in school tho..

All the while, I’ve told myself that I will and ONLY want to teach music..
This evening, a student of mine called me telling me that he misses me.. and asking me to go back to see them on Children’s Day. I looked back at my teaching time’s pictures.. those kids..

Now, Im in a dilemma.. which should I go for? The reason why I wanna go private is because I spent so much money studying music and I think I should teach music, if not I consider that as wasting my ‘talents’ or knowledge in music. But the working hours in private is longer, until 3.30, if I stay in KL, drive home also 5pm already.. then have to cook for my husband, dinner, at night do some lesson planning and marks some homework there goes my day.

If I work for the government school, must be CHINESE school.. I don’t get to teach music. But, I get to help those poor students. I taught Math, Bahasa and English ( okay, both my bahasa and english sucks and Im forced to teach those two subs, this is what happened in gov. school ). I teach nothing related to music.. However, I enjoy teaching them because I get to help those really poor students. I have this girl who her family is broken and she had to cycle everyday even in the rain to school.. she is quiet, shy and also super lazy.. there’s once I saw her bag tied to her bicycle on her bicycle got loosen up, then the bag fall. the bicycle was too big for her and she had a hard time tying her bag to her bicycle again…

When I saw that my heart got really heavy. I gave her my number and asked her to call me if it’s raining or she can’t make it home and I’ll fetch her. If I work in private school, those kids they are rich enough they don’t need kind teacher.. but government school teacher u really need to have the passion and heart for the kids and also in teaching…. * okay, im not self praising that Im kind. u know me. hahahaha*

I do get to teach the lousy and poor school band in chinese primary school, and it’s quite stress la because u don’t have the money and also manpower to do the things that you want to do.. and as a chinese, I always want to contribute to the chinese school and help chinese students. If only government understand the important of music in helping student academically, and only take teacher with music background in teaching music lesson, not a class conducted by a teacher who doesn’t even understand grade 5 music theory, using tape or CDs and just simply sing for the class.. I will gladly work for the government. and do some teaching in music centre..

Aiseh.. how a now????